Thursday, 27 February 2014

You've been tangoed

Mummy should have known better than to nip to the loo during a painting session.

Before 


After 



"Silly mummy"



Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Hurrah for Gin

I’ve noticed an alarming trend at nursery, some of my fellows seem to be eating what is presented to them on their plates without query. I have therefore decided to do the same. 

At nursery I am considered a 'good eater' and that gets me the ice cream I talk about all the way home (but the staff fail to mention). 

However, at home mealtimes are totally different ball game.  

Take heed people, when at home alone with your mummy follow these simple rules and exert some fricking authority!

  • Set the tone – spend a week detoxing on baby bel.
  • Refuse anything but Cheerios for breakfast. Have them without milk on Mondays, Thursdays and every other Friday. Hyperventilate if they get this wrong.
  • Don’t try anything new EVER.
  • Just because you liked something yesterday does not mean you have to like it again today. It is perfectly acceptable to change your mind and you do not have to explain yourself.
  • Fruit as a pudding is bullsh*t.
  • Be suspicious of anything that was recently alive. Beige, dead looking stuff is safer.
  • Request a wide variety of food at the supermarket and then, (a) deny all knowledge of it upon your return home or (b), allow it to be cooked first and then say you don’t like it.
  • Spend some time revising brand names so that you can legitimately refuse cheaper derivatives.
  • Any amount of cooking or food preparation time above 30 seconds is wholly unacceptable.-
  • Ask for updates of when things will be ready every 10 seconds, protest with your fists on the floor if things are taking too long. This may result in the meal being served half frozen but it doesn’t matter as you are not going to eat it anyway.
  • No eating on Wednesday afternoons, just cos.
  • Make sure you have a spoon, knife and two forks with all meals and then eat with your hands. 
  • Only ever use maisy plate. Flip out if it is dirty. 
  • Throw all cutlery on the floor and watch mummy pick it up as she doesn't want to risk 'rocking the boat'. Do it again. 
  • Deposit as much of your meal off the side of the table as possible. They say they ‘spend their whole life cleaning the kitchen floor’, help make it a reality.
  • Don’t eat that sweetcorn stuff. It sounds nicer than other vegetables but it’s just yellow peas.
  • Kick people who describe broccoli as ‘little trees’ in the shins. It’s condescending and its disgusting.
  • Avoid anything with sauce as there is a risk it contains blended veg.
  • Never drink water. They say ‘You will drink it when you’re thirsty‘, don’t. Get admitted to hospital with dehydration. That’ll learn em.
  • Always say you are hungry when you are in the bath.
  • Train your body clock to wake up for midnight bananas.
  • Casseroles, stews and pies are not to be trusted.
  • Weetabix are derogatory.
  • Sweet potato chips are insulting.

I think that will do for now. 

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Fun in Weybridge with the NCT crew

What a fun weekend had by all big and small! 

Lovely to have such wonderful friends x






Hobbledown

I had a super day with auntie Amy and uncle Egg and mummy today. I wore them all out!








Saturday, 15 February 2014

To my working mummy


(Adapted from a blog post mummy found and that made her feel better)

Dear Mummy 

I know you sometimes get judged by others for leaving me in the care of others to work. Some people imply that you don’t love me as much as stay at home mums do, and that it’s best for children to be at home with their mothers.

How can they say this about you? I know you love me just as much as any other mother. I know that going back to work was no easy decision. You weighed up the pros and cons, long before you conceived a baby. It has always been one of the most important decisions of your life. You thought about this even while you were in school and were choosing subjects for your a levels..

I know you weigh up every job to see if it will suit your family. I know you wake up an hour before everyone else does, just so you can get some quiet time. I know that you have attended meetings after being up all night with me. I know that when you come home in the evening, your “second shift” begins. The nay-sayers don’t understand that you run a household AND hold a job. You come home, cook dinner, bath me and read me stories (and come to think of it, when mummy doesn't make it home Daddy does all this too!). You tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. You pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, the laundry, the dishes, just like every other mother does.

I know that you often feel guilty about having any more time away from me so you sacrifice your leisure time. I know you can’t bring yourself to take a “day off” for yourself when I am at daycare. I know you accept that work is your “time off” for now. I know that when you are at work you don’t waste a single minute. I know you eat your lunch at your desk, you don’t go out for coffee, and you show complete dedication and concentration to your job. You chose to be there after all. You want to be there.

I know how discerning you are about who is looking after me, and that many long daycare centres offer excellent care. I know you only leave me in a place where you confident I am loved and well looked after. I know that you spend many days caring for me at home when I am sick, and sacrifice your pay. I know that you secretly enjoy these days, and revel in being able to be with me. 

I know that sometimes you feel guilty about not being there all the time. But mummy, I know this. You are setting a wonderful example to me. You are showing me that a woman can have a career, contribute in some way outside the home, and still be a loving mother. You are showing your me that I can do anything I want to do in life. You are displaying strength, endurance, dedication, tenacity, and you do it with so much joy and love.

I just wanted you to know I understand and I love you 

Elsie Beyre xx


Ps

Did I ever tell you about the time daddy took me to buy my goggles!? 

I put them on before we even left the shop...


Swimming with the big kids

Today was my first swimming lesson where I got in on my own without mummy and daddy. I now swim with a class of big kids and it's more challenging but I feel more grown up especially as I can wear my new pink goggles. 

Shame my feet are too small to fit into the 'slippers' though...

Elsie Beyre x


Friday, 7 February 2014

Visiting the girls in Medway...

Drumming in kikiland, Maidstone

Being an elephant

Catching up with my crew

Auntie Ruth and Imogen 

Driving us home as mummy was too tired

Xx


Sunday, 2 February 2014